Cooking with John, Week of 10/26/03

The Coolest Thing Ever!
I realize that I'm 27 going on 9. Sometimes I get the urge to buy things purely for amusement value and nothing more. I buy stuff that makes my wife roll her eyes and wonder if she married a child.

Last week, I was checking out our import partner site Lik-Sang and came across something that brought a grin from ear to ear. I'm sure many of you have heard or even own little micro cars, or perhaps you've even gotten into the BitChar-G cars that Tomy makes in Japan. If not, basically they are tiny remote controlled cars that fit in the palm of your hands. Check this out:

How could I have passed that thing up? First off, I love baubles and crazy stuff from Japan. Add that to Mario Kart and I'm sold. And just check out the package it comes in:



As you can tell from the photo, the car comes with some turtle shells, banana peels, and other goodies. Inside the box are little cardboard obstacles and whatnot you can set up for a track.

So how does it work? Simple. Pop a couple AA batteries in the remote control and charge up your little kart for about 45 seconds by attaching it to the remote control like so:



You then get about two solid minutes of racing time. It's not much, I know, but the recharging takes hardly any time at all.

You're probably asking yourselves, "How can we be cool like John and land one of these little suckers for ourselves?" Well, my friends, click here and knock yourselves out. They've also got a Yoshi model if you're into that sort of thing.

Ken's wants to get something off his chest:
I just figured I'd give you something to talk about. You most likely remember Beanie Babies. I mean lord knows, my aunt and cousin have at least 300 to 400 of these friggin things. The reason I brought this up cause I got this email linking me to this EBAY auction for the little critters (did I just say little critters...?) Anywho, I think its freaking crazy that someone would pay more then a dollar for those things. What good are they? Except a way to spend money. Thats why I buy videogames. They have a purpose (exactly what purpose that is outside of entertainment, fools me, unless your drunk, hint hint.)

I also would like to say (now that I'm done talking about beanies) that you guys are feraking awesome. You have kept popping up reviews and previews like mad. I am very impressed and hope you guys continue doing the supreme job you are.... errr... doing. Also your review on TMNT and Jak II are great and even though TMNT is what you said, sadly being no different then you, will but it, simply cuase its the turtles. Speaking of 80's stuff (sorry, I tend to jump form thought to thought very badly, but you knew that) When you mentioned Howard the Duck last week, it brought a tear to my eye (mainly cause a bug flew into it) remembering when I used to watch the hell outta that movie. And My Little Ponies. I used to watch that with my sis all the time (my sister was much older and more powerful then me, just to let you know). Well, all this 80's talk has me wanting to the bathroom (think about it your get it). Hope you find a TMNT costume (I did, HA!)

Well Ken, let me tell you a little story about Beanie Babies...those worthless pieces of shit. The girlfriend I had prior to Christine had scads of those friggin' things. Now, she had them before I met her and didn't share that little tidbit of information with me until well into our relationship. This moron was convinced that these things were going to make her rich someday. Well, as you can probably imagine, it was this frame of mind and logic that eventually led to me kicking her to the curb.

Some people invest in real estate, other morons invest in stuffed fabric.

I'm glad you're enjoying our preview and review output. I can honestly tell you that it's only going to get better from here on out. Brian and our preview/review staff have been busting some serious ass, and their efforts are apparent. I know this sounds like a broken record, but hopefully you'll be even more impressed if/when we relaunch.

And no, I didn't find an adult TMNT costume, so I had to settle for Homer Simpson. Where'd you get yours?

Well, that's it for me today. I've got two people claiming to be my friends pounding on my door with Captain, Coke, and obscenities. Wish me luck.

John




Lebowski Fest

I believe I've expressed my love for The Big Lebowski numerous times in this space. If not: I love The Big Lebowski. There, how's that? Many nights in college were spent playing drinking games with the movie (drink every time they say f**k) so I calculate my viewings to rank over one hundred. Easily.

I received an email yesterday linking me to an event they are calling Lebowski Fest. I quickly hit the link and a grin spread from ear to ear as I discovered that there are apparently a few people that feel as strongly about the movie as my friends and I do. Will I make the trip to Vegas in February to bowl with fans of The Dude? Probably not. But it's still heartwarming to know that many others will.

Main man Alessando would like to voice his opinions about Eternal Darkness and Silicon Knights:

Ciao John,
I have to disagree with you on Enternal Darkness and MGS by Silicon Knights. I found ED just too easy and dull without any real scare throughout, way lower than Resident Evil or Silent Hill quality-wise.

I recently played a demo of MGS The Twin Snakes and it looked completely shitty, like a PSX game run in hi-res.
I hope they fix it and release a worthy remake 'cos now MGS3 wipes the floor with it (no wonder it's been delayed till next march). Anyway, playing that thing surely didn't better my opinion of this studio.

Keep on cookin'
-Alez-

About Eternal Darkness, I don't really feel it should be lumped in with Resident Evil or Silent Hill, so the comparison is slightly unfair. No, it didn't have the scare quality of those titles, but I don't feel it should have. What I enjoyed about it chiefly, above all other factors, was the storyline and how Silicon Knights implemented it into the game. For me, it was like playing through an engrossing story. And no, the graphics weren't all that hot, mainly due to the fact that it was an N64 game brought to the Cube.

About Metal Gear Solid: Twin Snakes, I'm afraid I have to agree with you to a certain extent. While I don't think it looks nearly as bad as you seem to, I can't help but wonder "what's the point?" Don't get me wrong, MGS still ranks up there in my top five favorite games, but I don't want to play it again, despite its supposed "upgrades"; especially when MGS3 is on the way. Furthermore, I hold the opinion that with the talent of Silicon Knights, gamers would be best served by having them work on an entirely new game, ie: Too Human.

Thanks for your letter, man. I love stuff like this.

Tonight, Christine and I will be attending the Timberwolves' home opener from just behind the hoop. It's hard not to be excited with all the moves they made in the off season. However, with all the injuries they're suffering through I'm a bit nervous about how they'll do. Damn that Sczerbiak is a pansy! If you're a basketball fan and would like to talk hoops, feel free to drop me a line.

Go Wolves!

John




Where Are You?
Hilden and I are involved in a sinister love triangle with Crimson Skies. The game has replaced MechAssault as my Live game of choice and I can't get Hilden to leave my damn house because of it. I even told him there were some Cub Scouts at the door, but he didn't take the bait. The game is that good.

What bothers me, however, is how few people seem to be online playing this bastard. I remember playing the first few weeks of MechAssault never having to wait for a match to begin. Now, a simple game of Team Dogfight can take about 10 minutes to get started, which begs the question: where the hell are you guys?

Get this game.

I was a bit skeptical about how well dogfighting in the skies would translate to a 16-player online setting, but damn, what an indescribable blast. It's a bigger kick in the pants than I Love the 80s Strikes Back, which incidentally has been on my television all week long.

You young fools out there probably couldn't give a rat's ass about Long Duck Dong, Garbage Pail Kids, My Little Pony, Howard the Duck, or any of that other 80s crap but this stuff is the essence of my youth. Sad, I know. But nostalgia sells, my friends. Nostalgia sells.

So last night, between marathon sessions of Crimson Skies, I Love the 80s Strikes Back, beer, and bad cigars, I somehow got a wild bug in my ass and rushed out to buy the new Anthrax album. Anthrax is one of my guilty pleasures, as metal usually isn't my cup of meat. But I still consider Sound of White Noise to be one of the greatest albums of all time and one that I revisit every so often. Their new album, "We've Come for You All", is easily the best album they've put out since then and if you're looking for a little aggression, I can't recommend it enough.

Plus, you can't really beat Scotty Ian's goatee.

So how are you folks holding up? Are you keeping up with the madness? Drop me a line and let me know which games you're most looking forward to. How about that bad ass Prince of Persia? Have you played the demo?

And of course, don't forget about the Happy Tree Friends contest. The Second Serving DVD could be yours if you can make your case.

John

Last Week

Feature by John Luedtke