I've never been a big tactical FPS "Rogue Recon Ops" guy. I'm not sure if it's the fact that you generally have to memorize a zillion different button combinations or voice commands to get through the first fifty seconds or if I just envisioned the games' fans as trailer-dwelling militia men from somewhere in the U.P., but for some reason, the genre never stuck with me. I mildly enjoyed the first SOCOM and appreciated its worth, but again, no real enthusiasm.
I also mentioned earlier this week that Xbox Live night has become the stereotypical guy's poker night in my house, so when we had our fill with the five maps and various modes in Crimson Skies, we naturally looked for greener pastures. Those pastures were found in Rainbow Six 3.
As mezmerizing as this game is for me, the thing that struck me most was the fact that when Hilden is sitting in his little hovel and speaks into his voice communicator, his character's lips actually move.
I know!
Little things like these fascinate me.
Anyway, we were sneaking through some old city - I'm not sure what the name of the map was but it could have indeed been "Old City" - and found ourselves in a narrow alley. Our view was obstructed by a carpet blowing in the wind and hanging from some sort of line. Above us were all sorts of open windows and around us were shaded corners, barrels, and various obstacles. I crouched down, and peeked around the barrel I was using for cover and just as the wind caught the carpet, I spotted an enemy making his rounds.
My heart thumped.
I looked through my scope.
BAM!
I nailed that nasty "evil-doer" square in the chest.
I'm telling you guys, moments like those leave me elated and thankful that I'm a gamer. The sense of "being there" is something that you just don't get from other mediums. Sure, to an extent a movie, book, or play can draw you in. But this is an entirely different plane of immersive entertainment.
I hope that if you have the means you pick up Rainbow Six 3. If you're on Live and feel like picking off some terrorists, send me an invite.
So I did a hands-on preview of Mario Kart: Double Dash!! While I'm sure the final game will provide hours upon hours of unbridled enjoyment, my experience has left me a little apprehensive. Why did they eliminate the hop? Why did the drag-and-drop feature disappear? These were two techniques that made me a mad Mario Kart master.
Speaking of Nintendo, did you see this story? What do you think they've got up their sleeves? Write in and give me your speculations.
The Smiting I've admitted that I'm not hip to the whole Matrix phenomenon and don't really care to be. Sure, it looks like a cool movie and I'm sure I'd enjoy it. I just haven't made the leap yet and am in no hurry to. So with that out of the way, I'll let you guys handle the Matrix banter.
Adam writes: So I saw the Matrix Revolutions yesterday.
No, I was not expecting to see any deity, nor was I (any more than vaguely) looking forward to a revolution as theater crowds dispersed.
I'm not even going to speak as a critic here, though every part of me knows I should. There are plenty of internal problems with the film that, given the time, I could easily dissect with the necessary conviction.
But let's just say this for now - it made Enter the Matrix seem a lot less like an eyesore next to all my games. That should about sum it up for you.
I love Adam. I hope you guys read his shit here on the site, because it's always quality reading. He's been with GWX longer than...well...anybody as far as I know. So make sure if you see an article written by Adam Matlock, you give it a read.
Alessandro wants to get in on it: Ciao John, Seems like everybody is busy firing shit on Matrix Revolutions, apparently the worst thing that hit theatres since Tomb Raider 2. The whole fuss doesn't touch me as i am probably the lone guy on earth that hates this saga...guess that makes me the chosen one, huh?
Anyway, good luck with your marriage, i'm still far away from committing suicide!
-Alez-
Suicide. Nice one, man. While marraige doesn't quite enter the realm of suicide, it has its moments. But rather than go further into that, I just suggest you read below about two entries.
On a completely different topic, Brian M. writes: Besides video game purchasing freedom... have you ever had anything really valuable (expensive or morally... or both) stolen from you? Last Wednesday, I apparently didn't lock my locker and when I realized that I had left it unlocked at the end of the day... I noticed that my backpack was unzipped and my Sony Walkman CD player was missing. Not just that, but the headphones and one of my favorite CD's (AFI - Black Sails in the Sunset) along with it.
Now, I'm not surprised that some bastard actually went into my backpack looking for anything that they would like, but I'm pretty pissed about it. I know I should've locked my locker... but it was only one time that I left it unlocked and I can't believe the opportunity was seized.
So... anyway... have you ever had anything stolen?
Oh yeah, Strong Bad updated his e-mail again and apparently, the whole website itself was updated with the new message in the bubble thing CD Out Next Week. There's 6 clips of songs... the first is a redo of the Trogdor song, the second is a remix of the techno song done by Strong Bad in an older e-mail, the 3rd is a Limozeen song I'm pretty sure, one is for Dangeresque, one is a fhqwhgads live version, and I forget the other. Check them out (along with the new semi-funny SB e-mail). Whoever doesn't go to homestarrunner.com doesn't know what they're missing...
-Brian
Have I had anything stolen? Hm... You know what? I don't think I have. I'm sure I've had little things stolen from me as I was growing up, but never anything traumatic. I guess I'm lucky (knock on wood). I have, however, known people that have had some serious stuff ripped off - stereos, jewelry, etc. - and I can say that it really sucks. I myself never really dabbled in theivery, unless you count candy from the dime store as a kid, so I'm not really sure what gets into people's heads. I mean, the very idea of stealing somebody's precious belongings is just so horrible that I can't imagine doing it to someone.
About Strong Bad, I'm aware that I've been neglecting to post my usual "Strong Bad has updated his email!" routine and I'll try to get back on task. However, the whole Home Star Runner phenomenon has really taken off to the point where I don't think me not mentioning it in my modest little column is going to hurt their hit rate any.
One last thing, for the site relaunch, Hilden and I are resurrecting the Drunken Gamers feature that was so popular with the kids. It's going to be a bit different and we'd like your help with one part of the feature called "Drunken Debate", where we simply pick a random topic, choose a side, and bicker over it. The topic can be anything, as long as it's lighthearted, and would like your suggestions. You can either post them here in the forums, or email them to me below. No, there's not a prize this time.
Greedy bastards.
I'll be back tomorrow to tell you how cool it is to kill terrorists.
No, there's no punchline coming. I actually did meet Paul Stanley of Kiss today. The Kiss/Aerosmith concert was last night and he was in our building today doing some promotional work for his signature line of guitars.
He was about what I always expected him to be. Very polite, very gracious, somewhat dainty, and a bit on the feminine side. I'm not a big fan of Kiss by any means, but I have a friend who went to last night's show and is a lifelong fan of the group, so I decided to go for the autograph. As I said, I'm not a big fan of Kiss, and honestly have always thought Paul Stanley was a bit of a tool, yet I found myself to be oddly awestruck when I approached him.
"Uh...Mr. Stanley? Could I trouble you to uh...sign this for my friend? He's a big fan and uh...you know...was at the show last night..."
Luckily, he was cool about it and signed my stuff with a smile.
So anyway, that was today's brush with fame.
Ken writes:
Thanks for giving me a reason to write to you all the time by giving me the idea of writing as many responses to your columns as much in one week. Actually, your just too cool not to write too, I just said all that to cover it up. Anyway, no worries about me asking you about war and stuff, I understand that is not your topic of choice and will respect you accordingly. But you said drop you a line, so be it. I personally think we need to get our butts out of there and stop wasting American lives and I do mean wasting. We have founs no waepons, our men (and woman, not sure about that one) are dying. Secondly, I more or less think its just some way for republicans to get money or there I'll scratch your back you scratch mine sorta thing with republicans and there friends. Anyway enough about war, lets talk G4. Well, to clarify a bit on the channel, really and truly, the only real problem I have with most of the shows are the hosts. I mean they are just down righ pitiful (plus I 'm gald someone noticed the way the guy in "Sweat" was acting besides me) All in all, if they had better hosts I would be able to stand it more. Its a great idea, they just need better hosts and a different way of going about a few shows. I do watch the shows, dispite the hosts, and cause I like you am a gamer, I watch it just because its about games. Anway, I would bust your balls about the site, but its much more fun to do it to Sonny (if he even has any). Stay cool, and if I bother you with too much mail, please don't hurt, I love you guys.
Ken
Sorry I posted this late, Ken. Now you'll have to start over for the record.
I've been watching G4 more than is probably healthy and I have an unqualified hatred for that Sweat moron.
I swear he's Vanilla Ice.
Sorry to cut this short, but Hilden just popped his head in my door with a stack of video games.
Sometimes It's Hard And a goo goo ga joob to you all. Welcome back to another fine week. As my old college professor would say - thinking himself quite clever - today is the first day of the rest of your lives.
Being a guy can be complicated. No, no, ladies. It's not just farting and grunting and drinking beer. Wouldn't it be nice if it were? No, being a guy demands the balancing of these, our favorite pasttimes, with those prefered by the fairer sex.
You see, the over the course of the past week I've delved into Xbox Live like a junkie on a good meth bender; if there were such a thing as a good meth bender. A friend of mine who recently was appointed director of jazz studies at some college in Missouri was perhaps feeling a bit lonely. He's a former college roommate of both myself and the nefarious Lady Hilden, and we thought that as a good way of reliving those college days, where life was truly nothing more than farting, grunting, drinking beer, and binging on Goldeneye 007 and Diddy Kong Racing, he should get himself hooked up with Xbox Live, thus allowing us to giggle and smack talk from nearly 500 miles away.
And so it began. We started with Crimson Skies, moved on to MechAssault, and began dabbling with the idea of ESPN NBA Basketball. Then Rainbow Six 3 hit the shelves. I mentioned that Hilden was involved in this little pee party of ours. You see, nothing is worse than a junkie, except for a junkie uses his friends' smack rather than buying his own. Yes, I had been forced to revert to split-screen play in order to relive my glorious college years. Unfortunately, when the Rainbow Six 3 bug struck, it was soon learned that split screen play isn't an option.
Well, the Red Menace, being the weak-willed sap that he is, discovered this, and the fact that oodles and oodles of time and enjoyment would be had without his participation, apparently was enough motivation to get him to purchase his own Xbox and Xbox Live.
But that's not where the story ends, mind you, nor where its point lies.
Faithful readers of this column - few as they may be - may be aware of the fact that I was recently married. With marraige comes great joy and great "responsibility". Upon learning of Hilden's most recent acquisition, and no doubt foreseeing the financial peril that lay ahead, she uttered these words:
"You have to put things into perspective. You can't just go out buying games all the time when we're trying to save money for a house. We have..."
And then she said it.
"...RESPONSIBILITIES."
And that hit me like a ton of lead.
Surely, dire times are ahead. And like a junkie I may become. Sneaking into back alleys to get my fix. Hiding my stash in a paper bag and burying it in a cubby hole in the basement. Stealing away spare moments when she's in the shower or at the grocery store.
Sure, on the outside I'll play it cool. I'll hide my nervous tics while attending grown up social functions. Meanwhile, my old college buddies will be laughing over the airwaves. Blasting virtual holes in eachother while having dodged the real bullet.
