Poor Joe I just got back from a crazy night with the members of my former band. We met this guy named Ryan whom I was sure was intent on killing me. He asked to join our table and then proceded to freak us the fuck out. Seriously, I was positive this guy had a shiv and was prepared to take me out.
Ok, so this little thing on Katy's laptop broke off. Just a small piece of plastic that locks the battery compartment into place. So I took out my superglue, and couldn't get the cap off. Finally, I used my teeth and was able to screw it off. Once I got it open, I could see that the entire inside area was covered in glue. There was maybe half an inch of glue surrounding the little opening. It was all dried, of course. Keep in mind, of course, that I had just woken up a bit ago, and was in just my boxers. Oh, I had a blanket, too, since it was kind of cold. So anyway, I get some scissors and snip off the top inch or so of the glue container.
Of course, glue goes everywhere. Before I know it, my left hand is half-bonded together, and my right thumb is fixed to the blanket. So, I read the glue. It says bonds instantly to skin and all that... use nail polish remover or hot soapy water to remove. I didn't have any nail polish remover, of course. I didn't even have water. I did, however, have some Kool-Aid in the fridge.
So I put some of that in a bowl and microwaved it. I added some soap of course, as per the directions on the glue. After soaking my hand in the Kool-Aid, I got my left hand unstuck, although still covered with glue. At this point I realized I was stuck to the blanket. So I pulled, hard, and that's the worst thing to do in such a situation.
It didn't hurt, so I thought if I just kept pulling, it would come off. But a few seconds later, it really hurt so I stopped. But it kept hurting for a long time after I stopped pulling. I would've cried if I wasn't such a big man. ; )
I tried to soak my hand/blanket in the kool-aid, but that didn't really work, so I decided I needed to cut the blanket free. It was full of glue and now trash anyway. I tried to open the scissors, but they were covered it glue, and I only had one hand and my teeth to pull it apart. So, no luck there.
So, after considering the alternative of living the rest of life being fixed to a blanket, I decided to use a knife to cut myself free. I had to use my left hand, and I'm right handed, so I was pretty sure I'd cut myself and die. The police would come in and see me in my boxers on the floor dead, glued to a blanket, with a bowl of microwaved Kool-Aid on my desk.
It wasn't a very sharp knife, just a super-cheap kitchen knife that came in a "$50 Kitchen in a Box," but I managed to cut myself free and had only three or four square inches of blanket stuck to me. I reheated my Kool-Aid, soaked it, and eventually (although very painfully) managed to slowly pull the two of us apart. Add another hour of soaking and peeling to get the rest of the glue off my hand, and then dealing with the very painful blister I got on my blanket thumb, and it was one hell of a morning.
That's a bummer. Hey Joe, maybe you shouldn't be such a wussy boy.
Happy Valentine's Day It's not a holiday I put too much stock into. But being an engaged man, it is one I am obligated to celebrate. So to those of you that care, Happy Valentine's Day from GWX. Tune in on Monday to find out what our editors did for the holiday.
I just realized that I overlooked another important "holiday" of sorts. February 1st marked the one year anniversary of the launch of GWX. It's amazing what we've gone through, what we've accomplished, how many different ways we succeeded, failed, the number of staffers we've gone through, the arguments we've had, the obscenities used and made up, etc., etc., etc.
Few know this, but before the URL was GamingWorldX.com, our webmaster, Sonny Uppal had the site named "Kickme" or some ridiculous thing like that. It was before my time, as I joined the staff as a lowly GBA reviewer shortly after launch. [Now I'm just the guy that talks about nothing.] Anyhoo, I decided to find a scrap of history pertaining to the "Kickme" days, and lo and behold, here it is. Pretty sad looking, isn't it?
Either way, I believe a "Thank You" is in order for those of you that come to our site, read our stuff, visit our forums, write letters to our mail bag, and contribute to this column. Without you - in the words of George Costanza - "it's just masturbation".
So thank you. And here's to many more years of GamingWorld X.
You've no doubt seen this story posted by our magically reappearing News Chief. It really struck me by surprise, as while Sammy is known for their kick ass Guilty Gear series, that's really all their known for in the U.S. In Japan, however, their famous for being the largest manufacturer of Pachinko machines. Add that to Sega, who is the largest arcade manufacturer in Japan, and you've got one explosive coin-operated powerhouse.
I figured that many of you don't know what Pachinko is. Or maybe you do. What the hell do I know? Either way, if you've played Shenmue II for either the Dreamcast or Xbox, you've probably participated in a street game of Pachinko here or there. You can also think of Plinko from The Price is Right. And if that still doesn't ring any bells for you, try this. It's a bit rough, but you'll get the idea.
Anyhow, I also stumbled upon this. That's right, in 1997, Sega and Bandai were all set for a merger. Who knows what might have happened had these two companies joined forces? Would the Wonderswan have given Nintendo more competition? Would it even have come to the U.S.?
Who can say?
The gaming industry is changing visibly before our eyes. Squenix. Segammy. MicRareSoft. Nothing really surprises me anymore.
Well, I'm off for the night. I'm being forced to sit through an hour and a half of this.
Team GWX I just enjoyed a rousing game of MechAssault with Hilden, Sonny, and Joe. I can't express my joy and total admiration for Xbox Live and how well Microsoft has pulled it off. Sonny and I were talking today about XB-Connect, a service people use to play Halo online. He mentioned how after using Xbox Live he's completely spoiled and can't go back to using XB-Connect. It really is a marvelous service and a model for the other two companies (especially Nintendo) to follow.
...and they said it wouldn't last...
I've mentioned the problem I have of having too many games and not enough time. You see, I'm one busy bastard. By the time I get into the meat of a game, another one comes out. Not only that, but I have to worry about doing reviews and other site related duties, so playing games on my "personal" time really doesn't happen nearly as often as I'd like. It is for that reason that I just finally today finished Metroid Prime. I've been at the final boss for about two months now, but between that, MechAssault, Panzer Dragoon Orta, Splinter Cell, and whatever else, I just haven't had the time to finish it.
And you know what? It was worth it. I just couldn't bring myself to not finish that game. It was marvelous.
On a final note (excuse my language): this is unfuckingbelievable! The only singer on that show with a shitload of talent and she's disqualified for posing nude.
The Hype Machine Selling products is a huge task. Especially nowadays with all the bullshit advertising the "little guys" have to contend with. I'm not sure how many of you know this, but companies actually pay retailers to position their products in more noticeable areas of the store in order to move more units. And they don't just pay small fees. No sir. We're talking tens of thousands of dollars. It's called "positioning" and it's big business.
I'm not really sure how fair or this practice is concidering the ethics of fair competition and all, but that's life.
No idea how I got onto that rant, but maybe it was a train of thought started when I was mulling over this whole Matrix hoopla. Yes, the first movie was good, despite the fact that Keanu "Whoa" Reeves was the star. I personally liked him better as Ted Theodore Logan, but that's just me. So two sequels are coming out this year along with a bevy of video games, merchandise, advertisements, and lord knows what else. It's enough to make George Lucas blush.
But in spite of all this marketing madness, something cool has come out of it: The Animatrix. A series of Anime Shorts inspired by the movies and, of course, soon to be available at your local store on DVD. But the free episode they have online is something worth checking out. See it here
In case you haven't noticed, our news coverage has been sorely lacking as of late. I've bitch slapped Miyuru as usual, but I think he's starting to enjoy it. If you're interested in doing some news for GWX, fill out the Staff Application or drop me a line. If you want to guarantee yourself the job, offer to drive up to Canada and take care of a certain person who's name ends in "ernando".
Piles of Nothing I find myself with too much to do and too little time. Too many games on my desk. Too much Anime on my desk. A fiancee who occupies too much time. (Just kidding sweety pookums). What's a boy to do?
But looking around, I realize that all this shit sitting on my desk is more or less useless in the grand scheme of my life. I need something of substance. Perhaps I'll take up skydiving or rock climbing, or para-sailing. Perhaps I'll start a family...
Ok, now I'm just getting out of hand. Could you imagine me with kids? The blind leading the blind, my friends.
Anyway, back to today's business.
Paul likes porno. Apparently Paul likes porno so much that he even has his favorite porno quotes and would like to challenge our readers to see if they can name the porno that this quote came from.
Here's Paul:
Here it is, completely out of context, a small quote, yet utterly classic:
"I went to public school Wadd, who the fuck is Charlemagne?"
OK, kiddies, time to do your research, can you identify this Quote? (I'll give you a hint - it ain't Shaw!)
So send your guesses in. The first person to answer it correctly gets...um...something. I've got enough shit on my desk that I'm sure I can find something of value to send you.
I also found this site today. It's amazing how people can just put pointless drivel on the internet and have people read it.
Yeah...
I finally got to play some MechAssault with Sonny this afternoon. It's comforting to know that we were equally pathetic. His Gamertag is VGS. Kick him around for me.
Cold Gravy Sometimes you're better off just ordering a pizza.
That's the lesson learned this weekend. Christine and I, during an otherwise fantastic weekend getaway, had the misfortune of ingesting the most God-awful "5-Star" food this universe has ever known.
Ok, I should perhaps retract part of that statement. The salad was good.
A word to the chef:
When coming up with a new appetizer concoction, a shrimp coctail smothered in cold brown gravy, cold black beans, and soggy plantain chips is probably not the best idea. Oh, and make sure the shrimp is fresh. That'll make it easier for me to pay $24 for it.
As I said, outside of the horrible $250 meal, the weekend was a roaring success. We caught Bernard Shaw's "Mrs. Warren's Occupation" at the Guthrie and had a couple incredible White Russians and Bloody Maries at a cool little Czech place called Pracna. I was forcefed a lot of Shaw's plays in college so I actually really enjoyed what I saw. The funniest bit came ten minutes after the start of the play, when the old woman in front of me (couldn't have been a day under 90) said quite loudly, "This play sucks!"
It ruled.
Hilden and I succumbed to my soon-to-be wife's neuroticism today and watched Dana Carvey's masterpiece, The Master of Disguise. Holy shit. Talk about your all-time worst movie disasters. I looked over and noticed that she was about to nod off and yelled, "Wake up, woman! You made us watch this damn thing!"
Speaking of Hilden, that dirty she-male and I picked up the complete Robotech Macross Saga today. It'll make a fine addition to our Anime night.
And speaking of Anime (you like this, don't you?), Tokyopop was kind enough to send over an advance copy of their new series Reign: The Conqueror. Apparently it just hit the Cartoon Network and will be a regular series. Check it out here and see the complete Cartoon Network schedule here.
I haven't checked it out yet, but it looks very similar to Aeon Flux, which did kick some ass indeed and makes me want to end this segment presently so I can pop it into my DVD player.
But I won't leave you cold. No sir. Check this shit out. Whoo boy...
