Hilden is a Sissypants It just feels good to know that I can put that on the front page of a website that will be read by thousands of people.
Anyway, Sissypants and I got our hands on a screener copy of Adaptation and we...well...screened it. I have to say, me usually standing in staunch opposition to anything related to Nicolas Cage, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the movie. It was like a really well made jelly roll. What in the hell do I mean by that? First find out what a jelly roll is and then think about it, moron.
Yeah, I'm deep.
Sometimes people write in and spew incoherent crap that I can barely read, let alone publish on the site. Other times, I get insightful letters that, even though I never even provoked the conversation, engage me in ways that make my innards tingle. I really appreciate it when you guys/girls take a couple moments out of your day to not only contribute to my little column here, but also lend some sort of insight that almost justifies me having this outlet to spew my B.S. to whomever listens.
So here's a letter:
Here's a topic that's been discussed to death, on forums at least: Emulation. I wonder, what are your thoughts on it?
I personally think that it is ok given certain circumstances. A game such as Earthbound Zero is a prime example of allowed emulation. There is no other way of getting the game, legally, at least. Another situation where I find it ok to emulate would have to be with certain 16-bit games. Before they were re-released on the PS1, games such as Final Fantasy 4 (2) and 6 (3) and Chrono Trigger could only be bought on ebay. And the selling price of these games was never low. I distinctly remember seeing these games go for well over 80, 90, and at times (complete games) 100 dollars. Having to pay ridiculous prices for games, when the prices wont benefit the developer/publisher, but will only benefit some guy who happened to have a copy is absurd. The final situation I see it decent to emulate would be when the game was an import only, and one would not be able to play it (much less understand it) without emulating or owning a modded system. I remember this problem mainly with Final Fantasy 5, before it's re-release.
Does that mean I support emulating? No, not at all. I think all games that can be easily gotten for a reasonable price regardless to if the system is "dead" or not should be gotten, and not emulated. Furthermore, emulating newer games that are still potential sellers for companies is deplorable at best. Emulation of newer games is theft, no doubt about it.
For some reason, I've tried justifying emulation a million different times and ways in my head. Perhaps it's the punk rocker in me. The anarchist. Whatever. When I was a struggling musician I actually supported Napster and internet file sharing simply because I believed (and still do) that anything which will bring down the corporate structure of the music industry is a good thing; no matter what the cost.
However, the gaming industry, while still a huge corporate money-machine, is a whole different animal. It's hard to complain when the most profitable development house in the world (Nintendo) makes some of the most polished and enjoyable games in the world. Now if only the same were true for the record industry.
But I digest. [Anyone out there Married with Children fans?] I often use my beloved Turbo systems as an example. Sure, I would love for more people to be exposed to some of the great games that I grew up on. What easier way to enjoy them than emulation? However, that method of thinking would hurt the cause that groups like Turbo Zone Direct stand for, and that's enough reasoning for me to be firmly against emulation.
Sorry.
By the way, I can't stand Dark Cloud 2. I'm not sure what my problem is. People are declaring that this is Sony's Zelda. Well folks, I've played Zelda, and this ain't no Zelda. It's just so dreadfully boring! The dungeon crawling is just that: crawling. I can't take it anymore. I know, we even gave it a great review. It just isn't doing it for me. If someone would like to convince me why I shouldn't trade this thing in for a loaf of bread, I'm all ears.
My Problem with Fighting Games is simply that I don't feel like spending a decade not only memorizing a book full of moves but also trying to figure out how to pull them off using the worthless controllers that come stocked with the console that I'm playing it on.
Go ahead, tough guy, claim how your console's controller is so much better for fighting games than the other guy's, but the fact of the matter is that all three consoles' controllers are absolute garbage for fighting games. I mean, people bicker about the size of GameCube's D-Pad and how it's just impossible to properly enjoy a decent fighter with that microscopic thing. I say wake up, moron. The Xbox's D-Pad suffers from an inaccuracy not seen since the days when the 2600's joystick went out of whack, and the PS2's buttons are tremendously unresponsive in crucial moments. All three are utter garbage when you're trying to pull off some sort of 16-button combination special move or finger-twisting combo.
Ok, the fact of the matter is that I completely suck ass at Capcom vs. SNK and I'm probably a bit frustrated. But that doesn't erase the fact that the Xbox controller (Small or Original) is simply not suitable for proper enjoyment of the fighting genre. Period. I have no choice but to now shell out the insane amount of cash it takes to purchase one of these.
Sonny The following is an excerpt from a AIM conversation Sonny and I had earlier this evening. Now, I'm posting this not because I think it's funny, but just so you know that this is the guy that runs GamingWorld X:
Y2Kickme6432: Man, this is one hardcore sh*t I'm taking Y2Kickme6432: I'm getting all emotional about it Y2Kickme6432: No, I'm seriously taking a crap as we speak JLuedtke: That's fantastic. JLuedtke: Thanks. Y2Kickme6432: Oh... man.. relief Y2Kickme6432: Anyway, can you do the review? JLuedtke: Damn, man. Just a minute! JLuedtke: I'm updating CWJ right now. Y2Kickme6432: Aite. Y2Kickme6432: Sh*t, man. I have to wipe myself. Y2Kickme6432: Dude, fly over to NJ real quick and give me a hand JLuedtke: .... Y2Kickme6432: Don't forget the disinfectant cream Y2Kickme6432: holy shit, I feel sooo relieved Y2Kickme6432: You know what it's like Y2Kickme6432: But then you get all stressed because you have to wipe Y2Kickme6432: woooo Y2Kickme6432: Last minute squirts Y2Kickme6432: Before I go to wipe... Y2Kickme6432: Good God, I'm f*cking wrong Y2Kickme6432: You love it, don't you? JLuedtke: No. JLuedtke: You are a sick man. Y2Kickme6432: dude JLuedtke: ? Y2Kickme6432: I laid a f*cking MOUNTAIN of sh*t Y2Kickme6432: holy sh*t Y2Kickme6432: I feel goood... Y2Kickme6432: Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh NUH! Y2Kickme6432: Sooooooo niiiice! Y2Kickme6432: Like sugar and spice!
And there you have it. The powers that be at GWX having a meeting of the minds.
Turbo Education Life is funny in that one thing that one thing that has brought me so much joy in my life can go completely unnoticed by someone else.
Ken writes:
You know John, I have for a long time been wondering exactly what are the Turbo systems you talk about every so often. I have heard of them before but who made them, and there format type I don't not know. So if you don't mind (and please take your time) inform me on the wonder of the Turbo systems. I apologize for my extreme lack of knowledge, you are truly superior to me. Thank you for your time.
Ken
Ken, Ken, Ken...what am I going to do with you.
Ok, in a nutshell:
The Turbografx-16 is the American version of the Japanese PC Engine, both made by NEC in the late 80's, early 90's. The PC Engine was hugely successful in Japan, nearly eclipsing even the Famicom (NES to you and I). In the States, however, the Turbografx-16 didn't fare nearly as well.
Here's a picture (excuse my shitty HTML skills):
The games were played on cool little cartridges called "Turbo Chips" that were about the size of a credit card.
The Turbografx had a CD-ROM add on (the first of its kind), which delivered some spectacular games as well as some FMV garbage games.
There was also a handheld called the Turbo Express which allowed gamers to play their Turbografx-16 games on the go.
And finally, the Grand Finale. The Turbo Duo was the system that played Turbografx-16 Turbo Chips, CDs, and the newly upgraded "Super CD" format.
Unfortunately, the Turbo systems died a quiet death by the collective powers of the SNES and Sega Genesis. But I'm sure most of you remember the most famous of all Turbo mascots: Bonk.
For more information, try these sites:
Turbo Zone Direct: These guys rule. They sell new games and systems in the box.
PC Engine FX A great site. All things NEC and Turbo. They also have links to many other really great Turbo sites.
GWX MechAssault Tourney! Joe and I have decided to have a night of MechAssault with the GWX staff and readers. It's not really as much a tournament as it is just an evening of sitting back and blasting the hell out of eachother.
Here's the deal: Sunday, March 16th at 8pm EST, Joe, myself, and other members of the GWX Staff will be online via Xbox Live waiting to have a couple of rounds of MechAssault.
What you need to do: Write in to either myself or X-Communication with your name and Gamertag. Someone will invite you for the game and we'll be good to go.
This is our first try at this sort of thing, so we're not sure what kind of turnout to expect. We'll be reminding you all about it over the course of the next week, however, so hopefully we'll get a good response. If not, at least it'll be another opportunity to allow Joe to sissyface me.
Kaboom! I mentioned last time how I am happy that our forums are starting to regain some of their former glory. Well, apparently all the traffic has caused some problems with our server and now Sonny is scrambling to sort out the bugs.
Don't worry. We'll get it taken care of soon enough.
Speaking of the forums, with the new traffic has come new SPAM. People can be such pricks. Today we had a guy posting links to his porno site faster than we could delete them and faster than we could ban him. Apparently his site shows the best blow jobs and facials on the web. Well congratulations!
And finally, a glorious reader sent this image. Those damn French bastards!
Card Games I'm generally not a big fan. I guess the whole production value of video games has ruined me for all simple games, whether it be card, board, or what-have-you. Well, except Chess, of course, but that's a whole different story.
I forced Hilden and Christine to sit down tonight and have a round of Mario Party-e, and boy is it cool.
I'm serious.
It's actually a load of fun and very well designed. Hats off to Nintendo for giving me a reason to whip out my e-Reader. [By the way, I'll give a cookie to anyone who can find the damn e-Reader review on this site, because I sure can't; and I wrote the freaking thing!]
Anyway, the game is relatively fast-paced and for $9.99, you can't really go wrong.
I'm happy to see that our forums are finally starting to resemble their former glory. You know, before they were lost and without a trace? Anyway, thanks to all our new members and our old members who stuck with it throughout all the BS.
And just for kicks, check this out. I freaked out Christine with it today. Hehehe.
The Program I've got Christine on what shall be known here on out as "The Program". Like many non-gaming girls, Christine tends to gravitate more towards the puzzle games like Columns, Tetris, Swirl, and whatnot, with the occassional Bomberman here and Jak and Daxter there. She hates RPGs, however. Simply cannot stand them. I thought Kingdom Hearts would get her into the groove of things (her being a Disney fanatic and all), but not even that could sway her.
"Do I ever get to actually play this stupid game, or do I just sit here and watch and read all f'ing day?"
That pretty much sums up her feelings towards the RPG.
But yesterday, while in a rare gaming mood, she and I were playing through some Buster Brothers on my Turbo Duo, followed by some Mario Tennis on the N64. While flipping through my N64 collection, she noticed Paper Mario.
"What's this?", she asked.
Two hours later, she saved her game, vowing to play some more the next day. I figure if I can get her through Paper Mario, she'll easily move onto Kingdom Hearts, paving the way for Final Fantasy and any other RPG I can throw in front of her.
That, my friends, is The Program.
Will wrote in last night to comment on Nintendo and their online situation:
Hmm...I still don't like online gaming, on consoles, at least. Just because I don't like it, doesn't mean it shouldn't be done though. 350,000 some odd Xbox Live users think it should be done, and they make up about 350,000 reasons as to why Nintendo should make some online plan. Do I think Nintendo can get a network up as speedily as Microsoft did? In America, no. In Japan? Well, that's a different story. Afterall, look at the bottom of your NES, see that? They had the idea a long time ago, and if they thought they could do it then, they know they can do it now.
However, I maintain that online gaming belongs on the PC. In a few years, it might be different. The amount of users will be up, the amount of servers will too. More variety in games will exist. Downloadable content is already here, before long user made levels/items/weapons and eventually total conversions will be available. When they get here, and are of great quality (such as Counter-Strike, Day of Defeat, or Urban Terror), is when online console gaming becomes worth it. Until then, I'll take my larger user base, larger selection of games, and larger amount of mods to said games, and be happy as a hog in filth on my pc.
Overall, Nintendo should get started now, so that when all the wonderful perks that come with online gaming are readily available, they'll have a strong foundation and will be able to use it to their advantage. That goes for Sony and Microsoft as well, in case they were thinking of not allowing mods and such.
Will
(Whatever coherency I lacked is due to basically being asleep.)
That's ok, Will. I lack coherency 90% of the time and I'm wide awake.
Will makes some good points, and although I don't really get into the PC gaming scene as much as I'd like to, I do feel that console online gaming won't really hit its stride until the next generation of console wars.
Anybody else care to comment?
So I'm a little bit further in Dark Cloud 2 than when I last spoke of it, and I have to admit that it's not really doing it for me yet. I mean, I'm a good three hours into the game and haven't really found anything particularly fascinating about it. The dungeon crawling is tremendously boring and the inordinate amount of watching I do bores the hell out of me. I can only pray that things get more interesting with the whole invention thingy. I'll keep plowing through, though.
Mario Party-e arrived in the mail today and Hilden and I are planning on giving it a go tonight. I'll keep you posted.
Redneck Paradise As I mentioned last time, Christine had a couple of friends in town this past weekend and it was my job to be the good little entertainer guy. Chris and Carrie (the friends of which I spoke) are from an area just outside our hometown in Central Wisconsin. They're great people and a load of fun to hang out with. Chris is a cool guy with a fondness for the usual pastimes of the Northwoods folk: fishing, hunting, etc. Having grown up in that area myself, I understand his fascination with the more manly of pastimes. And while I myself am far from an outdoorsman, I was more than happy to lead him to the Outdoorsman's Paradise, Cabela's in Owatonna, Minnesota.
It really is an impressive store - if you're into that sort of thing - and I didn't mind the trip there one bit. I personally am a bit more of a Galyan's guy, but hey, no big deal.
Anyway, on the way out to the parking lot after a healthy dose of guns, bows, and Bison Burgers, we walked passed a white Chrystler minivan. Not a big deal, right? That was until I noticed that the hood ornament had been replaced by a rather large bullet, bullet hole decals were all over the side of the vehicle, and - the best part - the back tires of the ~89 Chrystler minivan were jacked up, giving it that "King of the Trailer Park" look.
Indeed.
Having guests in town usually involves a lot of eating out, and this visit was no different. Friday night was fairly low-key with a visit to my favorite neighborhood pub, The Chatterbox, a place that serves great food along with classic Atari Gaming. The next day consisted the aforementioned Bison Burger and then a stop at St. Paul's Buca di Beppo for some intense family style Italian grub. And finally, Sunday morning breakfast was served at the Chicago Deli, a Greek joint that specializes in spooky clientelle who are known for their anarchistic ways. It makes for an interesting Sunday morning.
Anyway, to make a long story short (too late), I feel about fifty pounds overweight and sick to my stomach. It's a wonderful thing.
I'd like to give you a quote from Miyamoto that increases my frustration with Nintendo and online gaming. When asked by the folks at IGN if any Online or LAN games would be shown at E3 this year, Miyamoto had this response:
I can't really say a whole lot about E3 right now, but Nintendo is still at a point where we don't currently see online games as a business model being successful so I don't think you can expect to see any serious look at online games [for GameCube] at E3.
Well, Mr. Miyamoto, I love you and all, but please look here for an example of a successful online business model.
