The Great Wide Open If you've never seen the movie The Great Outdoors with Dan Akroyd and John Candy, by all means, run out and rent it right away. I love watching the movie, but I'm not sure I'm going to enjoy living the movie.
Alas, the pudgy pie maker and tent are packed and I'm off whether I like it or not. Fortunately, I've also packed a healthy dose of booze and explosives (don't mix the two, kids), so when I blow my fingers off I won't feel a thing.
As you can probably surmise from from my tone, this trip is Christine's baby. Had it been up to me, 4th of July would be spent in the comfort of my backyard, sipping Long Islands and aiming bottle rockets at my ghetto neighbors. Now that sounds like a good time.
That's not to say that I'm not going to enjoy myself. I'm the type of person that could take pleasure in making spit bubbles and watching my dog take a dump on said neighbor's lawn. I'm sure sweating like a pig in our vinyl tent while sleeping squarely on a pile of dirt and rocks will turn out to be much more to my liking than my air conditioned house and comfortable bed.
But I'm in love and that's what folks in love do. If Hilden were here he'd say, "No, that's what people whose balls reside in the purses of their fiancee's do." And for once I'd have to give that scrawny sheep fucker a tip of my hat, for he'd be right.
Like a Hurricane Today has just been one of those crazy days where you want nothing more than to go home, jump in bed, pull a pillow over your head, and sleep forever. How I spent ten hours staring at a computer screen I have no idea, but here we are.
I get to go home and prepare for the great 4th of July camping trip that will take place this weekend. What ever possessed us to plan this trip is beyond me, but we are joining what will surely be thousands of other city dwelling fools in a journey into the wild. Otherwise known as "Up North". More specifically, we'll be occupying a slab of ground located at the Hayward, Wisconsin KOA Kampground.
Why God? Why?
I mean, look at this picture. Does this look fun to you?
It sure as hell doesn't look like fun to me. And neither does looking at the world's biggest musky at the "world famous" Fishing Museum.
Ah well, the point of this rant is to let you know that while I will be out getting in touch with nature and all that BS, I won't be able to update this column. So expect this space to collect a bit of dust over the next few days. I'll try to check in tomorrow before I leave, but after that I'm off to the wilderness for "fun" and "relaxation".
Wish me luck.
So why haven't I written much about gaming lately? Well that's a good question and I'm glad you asked. Truth be told, I've put in about three hours of gaming time over the last week due to the aforementioned family crisis and other day to day stuff that takes over. It's tough getting old, kids, and the last week or so has made that more apparent than ever. However, once this camping trip from hell (but then, what camping trips aren't from hell?) is over, I'm hoping to get back on the bandwagon. I miss letting you guys beat the snot out of me in MechAssault.
Before I'm off, Rick passed over this link to GamingFM. I think we may have posted it once before, but hey, it's a cool site and worth posting again. Check it out if you're into vid music.
Have a Rotten Day! Ignoring the superior editing skills of our esteemed webmaster, I'll instead start with a reader letter:
Great column! Always good for a laugh or two. You should tell us what you're playing on a regular basis, though. It might be interesting.
Keep up the good work!
~E
Well "E", if that is your real name, it never occured to me that people might actually care what I'm playing. Frankly, I can't imagine such a phenomenon. But ask and you shall receive.
I've been playing a buttload of Wario World and am finding that while it's extremely short, it's also very satisfying. I really don't mind short games as long as they prove themselves worthy of multiple run-throughs.
Also keeping my attention is Wario Ware, although I must admit that after having unlocked all of the hidden content, the game really is only used to play Dr. Wario and the two-player games with Christine.
Next up is MechAssault. You can keep all the new content that was recently added, though. Sure, it's a neat surprise addition, but Capture the Flag and my Puma are all I need to keep this at the top of my list for favorite multiplayer games.
And finally, Golden Sun 2. I admit that I haven't put as much time into it as I would have liked and the overabundance of random battles turns me off somewhat, but this is still the premiere RPG franchise on the GBA.
So there you have it "E".
I'm beginning to come out of my weekend funk, although I still feel as though I have the world's worst hangover. I really checked in to remind you all of the second CWJ contest. Up for grabs is Haibane-Renmei on DVD, which isn't out in stores for another month or so. For more details, click on the "Last Week" link down at the bottom.
The Gloaming Well, the weekend was about as depressing as could be expected when attending a funeral. Especially such an untimely one. But let's not dwell on that. Instead, let's move onto more joyful topics of discussion.
Upon returning home, I checked my email to find this little note from a lovely individual who calls him/herself "Zliudai":
"Fuck you"
Yes, that was the extent of his/her email and it certainly made me feel good to be alive. Thank you, you anonymous wizard of words, for brightening my day and allowing your gleaming words of wisdom to be extended to all who read GamingWorld X. I'm sure we are all the better for it.
Well, since I'm in such a sarcastic and cynical mood, I'd like you all to join me in extending best wishes to our resident "webmaster" (although that term usually refers to one who is a master of the particular website with which he is affiliated). Apparently summer and all of its splendor has caught up with young Master Uppal and filling our site with the latest news, previews, reviews, and information is simply too much to handle for a man with such a busy schedule.
Now let's see if he can take his falice out of his hand long enough to edit that last paragraph out of this column. [Sonny's Note: I would, if there was indeed such a thing as a "falice". Try whipping out the spelling monkey before trying to use semi-complex words, big boy. :-)]
[Closed Circuit to Raffman]: Dude, I still haven't received your address to send out your prize. It could be our faulty email system that the aforementioned buttplug - sorry - webmaster has implemented, but please send it again. [/Closed Circuit]
And finally, apparently Hilden has found an outlet with which to finally exact his vengance upon me for all the unanswered abuse I have served him, lo these many months. I look forward to doing battle with you, Lady H. Just make sure you bring an extra set of panties.
Oh, one more thing. It looks as though the Timberwolves finally made a move worthy of note. So there. I noted it.
