Mamma Jamma I'm not sure why that term just popped in my head, but it reminds me of the time Hilden and I were sitting in the hotel room in LA during E3 watching Me, Myself and Irene on TV. The censors replaced "motherf*cker", which they say about 15,000 times in that movie, to "mamma jamma". That's some funny stuff.
Anyway, sorry for not updating yesterday. I can only describe my current state as dizzy. The pre-wedding madness is about to get into full gear and Christine and I are running around like crazy people trying to take care of just about everything at once. All this week it's been gathering the guest list, stuffing and filling out envelopes, creating maps and gathering hotel phone numbers, etc. People ask me if I'm nervous about getting married. No, not about getting married. There's no doubt in my mind that Christine is "it". What I'm nervous about is that I may forget one small, yet vital element to "the day", thus leaving a permanent blight on what's supposed to be the greatest day of one's life.
So anyway, that's where I've been. What's your excuse?
I'd like to announce the winner of the CWJ Contest #3. This guy nearly caused me to piss myself for the last three mornings with his hilarious motivational letters to GWX's resident webmaster/slacker, Sonny Uppal. Here are a few samples:
Day One: I see major similarities between this lack of updates and the current situation in the canadian beef industry. Because of the whole mad cow disease debacle. The border trading of beef is stopped and people stop eating beef. Thus, if you stop updating GWX people will invariable stop reading it! Is that what you want, I can tell you how to fix it in one word, UPDATE!
Day Two: Here is an amusing thing, on the way home from the beach yesterday I saw an army truck go by with a couple soldiers inside. By my best estimates this constitutes roughly half of the Canadian army and I will bring that half down ON YOUR ASS if you don't update ore often.
Another thing, each year a certain bank in Canada chooses 20 youth who have made the greatest contributions to communitys across the country. One of the winners was *drumroll* Sunny Uppal! Bit similar to your name isn't it? Think he got there by slacking? I'm sure he'd update GWX if he owned it!
If you listen to celtic music in the next little while you will find it carries a very definite message. That message is, of course, UPDATE GWX!
Day Three If you read up on Canadian history you will find that we actually won the war of 1812. This bears a remarkable similarity with the fact that I will win this war of updates. When I find you I will take control of GWX and start UPDATING it more often.
It is quite a simple concept, updating a site. I suggest you do because your livelyhood will be in danger should I get my hands on you. I'll even bring Johns pug along for the offensive!
Mind you, this is only a sample of what this week's winner layed on Master Uppal. And for that, the apparently Canadian Don Chavez is the winner of Majesco's sweet GBA shooter, Iridion 2. Don, email your address and I'll get this sucker in the mail ASAP. Way to go, my friend.
Don's prodding has apparently worked to some degree, as you may or may not have noticed. It has also inspired Sonny to get hopping on the new site design that I promised you about two months ago. While it's still a bit rough around the edges and needs some tweaking, we're working on implementing some slick features that will hopefully help us stand out from the 20,000 other gaming sites out there. A lot more content will be available from the main page and navigation issues should hopefully be sorted out.
That's all for me. Wish me luck as I go to write out the largest check I've ever written. (Gulp)
The Gauntlet Ken writes, in reference to my comment about my dog (see below):
You know, I got to thinking about how you said your dog who kicks ass just like his owner, has a strange attraction to hilden, and you think he's a little off. Maybe he's completely fine and "LAdy" hilden is using his Shemale powers on him? Lady Hilden must be dealt with if that is the case. Why not set him up on a date with Sonny? Who knows it may work out and he'll leave Ernie alone. check you later.
That's a good thought, Ken, and one that I've confronted said Shemale about. When given the information and details of your cleverly deduced conspiracy, Hilden threw himself into a tizzy the likes of which I have never seen. Lots of "That's it!" and "I've had it!" and "What the f**k is a Bahamut?" I just stood there puzzled at his apparent rage. I must warn you, Ken, the gauntlet has been thrown down and expect a torrent of retaliation.
I will not get in the middle of this battle.
I musn't.
Anyway, he'll most likely just sit in the corner and suck his thumb anyway. Either that or sneak that clever picture of me in my "I Love Boys" T-Shirt into another one of my articles. Oh yes, his anger is unspeakable.
So don't forget about the CWJ Contest #3 as described below. I've already seen a couple letters come in, with one in particular that caught my attention. You guys know how to ream Sonny's ass. I love it! Again, up for grabs is the killer Iridion 2, courtesy of the great people at Majesco. For more details, read the entry below.
I must apologize profusely. I'm an incredible shithead. I promise the two prior winners that their prizes will be dropped in the mail tomorrow. And Raffman, for keeping you waiting, I'm going to try to cram a little extra surprise in that envelope for you. It's something that will surely make your PS2 platformer loving friends quite jealous indeed.
Have you guys seen this shit? That is about the coolest thing I've ever seen! And for only $30? I'm in.
Which reminds me: Strong Bad didn't update his email this week.
It Was 20 Years Ago Today ...Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play.
Ok, not really. As you know, twenty years ago Nintendo of Japan unleashed the Famicom and thus changed the gaming world forever.
When I was a kid, my mom - because she was an evil old witch - refused to by me an NES. Perhaps it was because she had been burned by Atari, but I could never penetrate the logic behind her vehement opposition to Nintendo's "evil" machine. Instead, I was forced to spend hours upon hours occupying the living rooms and basements of my friend's houses. I'd go over there and sit with them for entire days playing Contra, Super Mario 1, 2, and 3, Ninja Gaiden, Punch Out, Arkanoid, Paperboy, and so many more. Hell, from time to time I would even scrape up enough birthday and Tooth Fairy cash to rent a Nintendo and a few games.
In honor of the 20th Anniversary of the Famicom, I recommend blowing some dust off of your old NES, patiently waiting for the screen to stop blinking, and enjoy some of those 8-bit gems. Your heart will surely grow ten times its size today.
In other news, I'd like to announce the CWJ Contest #3. This week's prize is a bit more juicy, but it's also going to take a bit more to win. Up for grabs is a copy of Majesco's killer GBA title Iridion 2. Click here for more information on the game.
What do you have to do? Well, in addition to our Help Sonny Say "Just Wait" campaign, we're starting a "Remind Sonny to Update the Site" Campaign. You'll notice that there are some days when our main feature doesn't change from the day before. It seems our fearless leader and webmaster sometimes gets a little discombobulated and updating the site he runs slips his feeble little mind.
So here's what you have to do. For three nights in a row, you must send an email to Sonny letting him know that you demand new content and that he must update GWX. Copy me on the email so I know you've done it. Three evenings in a row, any nights you wish.
Your fellow readers, and even the GWX Staff thanks you in advance.
Join the Ernie Fanclub Well, I've received quite a few responses to my posting of Ernie's picture below. So many that I've begun toying with the idea of an Ernie Fanclub. How does this sound?
For $5 you will receive monthly emails detailing the many exploits and adventures of the loveable and cunning Ernie Chester Luedtke. Included in the emails will be Ernie's journal, and tips on how to properly lick oneself, vomit on your master's bed and get away with it, and how to prepare an area for pooping. He will also send you autographed pictures of him sitting, licking, and sometimes yawning. Furthermore, you will receive an official "I Love Ernie" identification card, surely causing you to be the envy of all your friends.
Sounds like a good deal, eh?
Jake has written in to answer Heather's question from yesterday:
Hi John,
I came to write an answer to Heather. I have the demo disk and you can indeed play 2 player SC2. All you have to is start a regular battle, and before it starts just have the person with the second controler hit"start."
It will say, "A new challenger has arrived!" and then you can fight your pal. Pretty cool indead.
-Jake
Indeed. Thanks man. It looks as though Heather has taken our advice already and purchased the Disc:
Hey!
I got the disk at EB for $10... it was totally worth it for the SC2 demo... I didn't think VJ was as good as everyone said it was. I love SC2 though... I can't wait for it to come out. Your dog is so cute!!!
OOOOO I forgot.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
~Heather
Thanks Heather. Enjoy your disc, even though I think you're a little cracked for not instantly seeing the beauty that is Viewtiful Joe. Play it a few more times. Love it. Live it.
Bahamut would like to get in on the Ernie worshipping as well:
Dude, pugs kick ass. I'd a pug, but no one ever has any puppies or what not. Until then I am stuck with my grandma's poodle.
Poodles suck, man. No question about it. I've never ever encountered a poodle that I liked. It's time to have a chat with Granny. In the meantime, be sure to join the Official Ernie Fanclub!
Forlorn It's been a quick weekend. Far too short for my tastes. It seemed as though I had time to do one thing each day and then the day was done. Saturday it was pick up a couple issues of Detective Comics. Today it was get a haircut. That's it. Now here it is, evening and I'm talking to you. Yes you!
Was that scary?
Anyway, Heather has a question:
Hey John! I'm pretty sure you have the gamecube preveiw disc because you talk about the VJ demo alot... I have a question about the disc... it says there can be two players simultaneously on the back of the box. What game can you play two player? I can't figure it out.... SC2 would be the best choice I guess but I can't get it to work. If you know what to do email me back please! Thanks!
~H
Ms. H, I do indeed have a GCN Preview Disc and cannot recommend it strongly enough. However, only if you can find it for the uber-affordable $10 and not the outrageous price that some unnamed Blue and Yellow electronics retailers are selling it for.
As far as the two player question, I'm not sure which one it is. I fired up my copy a few moments ago and couldn't find any two player option, so perhaps there's a code. However, the only code I could find in my searching was one that allows you to play the second mission in Billy Hatcher. That is done by simply holding down the A button while pressing Start at the title screen.
If anyone out there can help Heather with her question, feel free to write in.
Ken wants to know:
Just outta curiosity, want kind of dog is Ernie? (I pretty sure thats his name)
Good to hear from you, man. Yep, the little guy's name is Ernie. He's a hell of a dog and hopefully the closest thing I ever have to a kid. I love the dog to death, but he has this bizarre effection towards Hilden, which makes me think he may be a little off kilter.
Anyway, Ernie is a pug, and here's a picture:
I thought I'd make the picture freaking HUGE to go along with his personality. Look at that freaking face!
