Out Until October I've made reference numerous times to the humiliating experience that is visiting my local comic shop. Shit, last weekend when Hilden and I made our weekly stop (Christ, that we make a weekly stop at the comic shop is humiliating enough) we were caught in a melee of forty year old guys dressed like Frodo Baggins and kids walking around chanting "live long and prosper".
Listen, I'm willing to accept that by most social standards I am a freaking dork. I not only play video games for hours on end each and every day, but when I'm not thinking about them, I'm talking, thinking, and philosophizing about them.
If philosophizing about video games is even possible.
It's not that I don't take the medium seriously or am ashamed of the fact that I have a personal collection of thirty consoles and over four hundred games. In fact, it's something that I publicize. No, gaming is not anything to be ashamed of; especially as it is now a mainstream and widely discussed activity.
Where - as Hilden might say - the slope becomes slippery is when one factors in my obsession with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Batman. Now to be fair, I don't read TMNT comics. But does that matter, really? I about wet myself last week when I found a copy of the second TMNT movie on DVD for under $10. How about the fact that I am on a quest for a Batman figurine that properly captures the dark and brooding presence of said action hero?
The other day, Hilden and I were walking up the stairs in my house and he was talking about leveling up in Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. He then made an offhanded remark that ended with "damn wizards".
We then stopped and looked at eachother, realizing that perhaps we're taking this thing a bit far. I mean, how long is it before one of us is in the bathroom at the comic shop and the other one is guarding the door, dressed as a wizard proclaiming "You shall not pass!" to anyone who tries to enter?
I came out of the comic shop this evening, after picking up Human Target: Final Cut for reading material on the plane. Ok, so I also picked up the second issue of Superman/Batman, so back off! Anyway, I was trying to check out while being elbowed and run over by the bastards attending the Yu Gi Oh! conference. It was then that this all occurred to me.
If I am indeed a dork - which considering the laundry list of proof I just rambled off - perhaps my level of dorktitude rests at one of the upper tiers. Of course, I'm just fooling myself. Pass the 12-sided die, please.
Moving away from the topic of my geeky idiosyncracies, in case I haven't beaten you over the head with it enough for you to know, I am getting married this weekend. Please, hold your applause. Anyway, I'm on vacation, which starts as soon as I submit this article and will not return until, as the title of this entry suggests, October. In my absence, what I expect from you is - other than diligently anticipating my return - is to keep tabs on these bastards for me. Regular readers of the site know how Sonny likes to slack off. So keep up on that punk for me. Upon my return, I'll collect a full report and my disciplinary measures will be adjusted accordingly.
So yeah. Married. Only today did it occur to me that I am about to have the most important day of my life. It really is something that you kind of have in the back of your mind your entire life and will remember for the rest of your life. I don't know if I have had any other days that I can say the same about.
A few of you have written in the past, asking me how I knew Christine was the one, or how I decided that this was the right time in my life to make this move. In fact, Sonny himself asked me the very question today.
The knowledge that I bestowed upon him I will now share with you. Take it as you will.
You may be with your girlfriend, boyfriend, or whatever, fixing them dinner, or simply replenishing her/his plate. Let say it's pizza, just for sake of argument. So you've got this delicious pizza pie sitting in front of you, right? Both the pieces look quite appetizing, but naturally, one looks more appetizing than the other, even if just a bit. Now whether it's the fact that this superior slice has more pepperoni on it or the fact that it's simply a bigger piece, if you - without even thinking about it - put that piece of pizza on your lover's plate and take the inferior piece for yourself, that's when you have reached the point of knowing. Because she/he wouldn't have known you gave her/him the inferior piece. You did it out of natural generosity and your desire to sacrifice your ultimate happiness for hers/his.
Laugh if you'd like. It's a very primal thing.
Now I'm off. If you begin to miss me, click here and say hello.
Half Arsed I'm just dropping in to apologize to anyone looking for the last few days of news. Our ever-reliable content management service has once again stuck it to us, so we're now working on getting things restored for your viewing pleasure.
I've been told a new system is in the works and will be here in one to two weeks. Of course, I was told that about four months ago.
Contest Winner Announced...Finally It's been weeks, I know. I also realize that after this week I won't be able to use the "I'm sooo busy with the wedding" excuse anymore.
In case you've forgotten, up for grabs was the Ninja Scroll: The Series, Volume 1 DVD. All that was required was to write in and share your thoughts and opinions on the N-Gage. So without further ado, the winner is Steve with this letter:
I am always one for forgiveness, so will I drop my GBA and get an N-Gage? Probably not! To me it's a glorified cell-phone. For $300, I think I will just wait for the PSP or whatever Nintendo dishes out to counter it.
I guess I've been burned too much on the GameGear and Neo Geo Pocket to adopt a new format so quickly; for crying out loud, I'm still on a wait and see with the XBOX!
Hope that helps... Steve
In that letter, Steve pretty much summed up 90% of the responses I received on this topic. The N-Gage is a tough sell to many gamers. It seems that as a whole, gamers fear change and fear new things. We're afraid that our hard earned cash is going to be pissed down the toilet. And rightfully so. Our hobby is an expensive one and we wade through giant shit waves to find a gem. That's probably the reason we're such a jaded bunch of cynical bastards.
Anyway, Steve my man, send me your address and I'll get Ninja Scroll out to you ASAP. Nice letter, man. Thanks for writing.
I'm trying to pack an assload of stuff in before I leave for the wedding/honeymoon so I apologize for the short update tonight. While you sit at your computer screens, longingly awaiting my return, watch this.
The wedding has all but consumed my entire existence. I spend hours on the phone with friends and family members getting everything situated and making last minute arrangements. And while it seems that every waking moment is spent on the wedding, in between the madness I somehow have had time to pack in hours upon hours of Final Fantasy Tactics Advance.
It's growing on me, it really is. I started out deflated and somewhat unimpressed. However, as I proceed through mission after mission, I'm beginning to appreciate the beauty in leveling up my characters and customizing my party. It's a feeling similar to Pokemon. Humor me. Pokemon, when stripped down to its essential elements, is nothing more than collecting monsters and leveling them up. And something about that experience winds up being not only fun, but somehow extremely satisfying. Luckily, FFTA adds so much more to the experience to make it more than just a lesson in leveling up.
The menus, however, are extremely tedious and frankly, their design is just plain crap. A single menu screen simply doesn't provide enough information and cycling through menus is extremely tedious.
The game has also consumed Lady Hilden. For the last week, his GBA has barely left his hand...presumably allowing his penis to heal.
I've been using AOL Instant Messenger for nearly ten years now. Back in the infancy of the internet, and living in the armpit of America, I was forced to use AOL as my ISP because I really had no other choice. Ever since that time, I've had random instant messages from people calling me "Aunt Judy". Apparently, on the east coast lives a middle aged, web savvy woman named Judy Luedtke. So every few months, I have to convince some PTA member that I am, in fact, not Judy. Tonight, I wasn't in the mood:
Quiltlover21: hello i thought you already leave for maine JLuedtke: I brought a laptop. Quiltlover21: oh i see are you at maine now gues JLuedtke: Yeah, but I forgot why I came. Quiltlover21: oh i see ok have nice vacation with your family and will see you homecoming. JLuedtke: I will. Thank you. If I can just get my short term memory back. I guess that's a side effect of smoking crack. Quiltlover21: ha ha are you leo or jean? JLuedtke: Who? Oh, no. I killed them. They're buried at a rest stop in Delaware somewhere. Quiltlover21: i am carolyn petty JLuedtke: Why would you tell me your real name? I'm a dangerous, crack-addled killer. Quiltlover21: are you leo? JLuedtke: I don't know who Leo is...or was. He must have been the guy I buried at the rest stop. Quiltlover21: you are funny ha ha i know who are you ok bye sksk JLuedtke: If you say so, lady. Quiltlover21: sksk JLuedtke: What in the hell is sksk?
It was then that I must have creeped her out. I can't wait until Judy and Leo get home and she finds out that she really may have been talking to a crack addicted murderer.
Ken writes:
You know John or "GMOALB", Just curious when did you first meet Christine? When did you propose to her? Rather you answer or not, I, once again hope you two have a Wonderful wedding and live happily together. By the way, will she ever finish Paper Mario? Maybe you should have let her play Legend of the Seven Stars first.
Wow, Ken, getting a little personal, aren't we? Just kidding, man. Well, the details of our meeting are a bit X Rated, so let's just say she's the friend of a friend. We grew up in the same shithole Wisconsin town but didn't know eachother until we were introduced about 2 1/2 years ago. I proposed to her a year later at a condo I rented near Lake Superior.
And no, she will never finish Paper Mario. However, I did buy her a red GBA-SP the other day with Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo and am hoping to get her into Mario & Luigi when it comes out this fall. We'll see how that goes.
That's all for now. I'll announce the Sakura Wars DVD winner tomorrow. I promise.
